By Abby Stilwell 

Join me as I start my three-year-old Warmblood filly, RSH True. I grew up training horses, and this will be the third young horse I’ve started from scratch as a middle-aged woman. 

I’m not claiming to be an expert; I’m simply sharing my insights and honest opinions. This is my personal journey through our first ten rides together.  

I have owned True since she was eight months old and have handled her consistently over the past two-and-a-half years. Prior to beginning the process of riding True, she had solid groundwork including moving away from pressure, lunging at walk, trot, and canter using voice commands, ground driving, being tacked up and untacked, regular farrier work, desensitizing (mostly by just being present during a variety of different activities), and trailering.  

Before her first rides, RSH True’s groundwork included desensitizing exercises designed to build confidence and prepare her for the unexpected situations that arise in everyday life. 

Ride 1 

This wasn’t an actual ride; it was simply my first time sitting in the saddle on True. I brought her to the mounting block from both sides, climbed up and down, and rewarded her for standing quietly. While standing on the block, I leaned my weight across her back, jiggled the saddle, and put weight in the stirrup. I also jumped off the block, stomped on it, and deliberately made a little extra noise and movement, again rewarding her for standing still. In my experience, this helps prepare horses for the less-than-perfect moments that inevitably occur. If every training session is quiet, calm, and perfect, that preparation works only until real life happens. 

Once I felt True was calm and ready, I asked my sister to stand with us and hold her while I mounted. I put weight in the stirrup and watched True’s body language to ensure she remained relaxed and attentive. Then, quickly but carefully, I swung my other leg over and lowered myself into the saddle, immediately rewarding her with pats and praise. I reversed the process to dismount. 

Because she handled everything so well, I mounted and dismounted twice more, then praised her, gave her a treat, and called it a day. If I have learned anything from training horses, it is the importance of timing and knowing when to stop on a positive note. Pushing too far, too fast often damages trust and creates more work in the long run. 

Ride 2  

This was super similar to the first time I sat on her. My focus was simply on building a sense of calm at the mounting block and stepping on and off a few times before calling it a day.  

Ride 3  

On this day, my son assisted from the ground. Once I was in the saddle, he led us around for five to ten minutes while I practiced asking True to move forward with a light squeeze of my legs and, more importantly, the familiar “walk” cue I had used on the lunge line. Working together, my son and I also practiced stopping — I said “whoa” while gently closing my fingers around the reins. 

Everything I do during those first few rides must connect to cues already clearly established through groundwork. Whether learned through lunging, long-lining (ground driving), general pressure and release, or voice commands, this consistency helps the horse understand what is expected.

RSH True walks quietly under saddle during one of her early rides, building confidence and responsiveness to Abby Stilwell’s aids. 

True was quite nervous during this ride, so we kept it short and easy. We finished as soon as she began showing signs of relaxation, such as licking and chewing and slightly lifting her tail. 

Ride 4  

To be honest, my plan that day was simply to “camp” on True while giving my sister a lesson on her horse. I intended to sit quietly on True in the centre of the arena while I coached. Spending time in the saddle while making few demands can help a horse develop a sense of calm and relaxation. 

My sister was taking a little longer than expected to tack up, so once I was on True, I decided to ask her to walk forward and see how she responded. She did better than I could have imagined. She walked and halted, turned in both directions, stepped over poles, and stood while I mounted and dismounted several times. Her biggest challenge was accepting my request to turn right when she wanted to go left, which led to some head tossing. Each time, however, she eventually responded correctly, and I promptly released the pressure and rewarded her with verbal praise, a pat on the neck, or both. 

At the end of the ride, I even rode her out of the arena and around to the front of the shop, where my husband captured video evidence of our ride — and my dismount!

This was an unusual fourth ride. Typically, I would have someone lead us from another horse or work with us on a lunge line. This was simply one of those times when everything felt right, and I decided we were ready to take the next step on our own. 

Ride 5  

After a few days off, I tacked True up and mounted with the goal of improving her softness and responsiveness to turning and stopping aids. She was still at the stage of slightly resisting the rein aids — particularly when asked to halt — by shaking her head. 

As we moved around the arena, I combined familiar voice commands with rein, leg, and seat cues to ask her to turn, halt, and walk forward. Pairing the voice cues she already knows from lunging with the physical aids she will respond to under saddle helps bridge the gap between groundwork and ridden work. 

I kept the ride very short. As soon as she responded positively without shaking her head, I dismounted, gave her plenty of pats, and ended the session there. 

Ride 6  

On this day, my focus was to continue developing True’s acceptance of the rein aids while pairing leg and seat aids with familiar voice commands. I also went into the session thinking that, if she felt ready, I might ask her to trot.

I was very impressed by how relaxed she was and how much more quickly she responded to my aids. After about 15 minutes of walking, I decided to ask for the trot. Based on my groundwork with her, I expected her to move forward readily — perhaps more quickly than necessary — or possibly buck. I had worked through bucking on the lunge line over the previous two years, so I wanted to be prepared in case she reacted similarly with me in the saddle. 

As it turned out, she was quite reluctant to trot. I had to continue applying my leg aids, even as my legs grew tired, while repeating the familiar “trot” command and kiss cue. As soon as she took a few trot steps, I immediately released the pressure — which, somewhat comically, prompted her to halt. I was relieved to discover that her response to uncertainty was to stop rather than buck. Once she had taken a few trot steps in each direction, I dismounted and rewarded her with plenty of pats and affection. 

Ride 7 

Without giving her a day off in between, I rode True again the following day with the goal of repeating those first few trot steps. Because I had introduced something new during the previous session, I felt it was important to reinforce the lesson right away. 

Although she was still a little uncertain, there was a noticeable improvement in her comfort and understanding. She continued to offer only a few trot steps at a time but moving her into the gait was easier than it had been the day before, so we called that a win. 

Ride 8  

My focus during this ride was on relaxation and increasingly softer aids. We spent plenty of time walking, turning, and halting, with an emphasis on prompt responses and an immediate softening of my aids whenever True responded correctly. 

The session included several added challenges: the neighbour’s cattle moved close to the arena, her pasture mate called to her incessantly, and road traffic was heavier than usual. I deliberately took slow, deep breaths that she could hear and feel, reassuring her that everything was okay. Given these distractions, I chose not to ask for the trot. 

Overall, I was very impressed by her focus and relaxation, as well as the continued improvement in how quickly she responded to my aids. 

Ride 9  

Prior to this ride True had about a week off as I had been away at a horse show. I lunged True the day before this ride to check in with her and review our voice commands. The next day, I chose to ride in the mid-afternoon when it was a little warmer. Fortunately, my sister was there to take photos and videos.

I was incredibly pleased with how responsive True was to my aids. She halted with almost no rein pressure, responding primarily to my seat and voice, accompanied by only a slight closing of my fingers around the reins. She also moved promptly into the trot in response to light leg pressure and a voice command. 

We completed our first full circles at the trot, and she began adjusting to the movement of my posting. After she had trotted successfully in both directions and responded so well to everything I asked, I dismounted and gave her plenty of praise. 

Ride 10  

For this ride, I set up poles and cones around the arena. I wanted to reinforce the previous day’s success at the trot while testing my control through a few simple patterns. In my opinion, combining circles with patterns helps keep a horse attentive while building confidence. The predictability of circles allows horse and rider to focus less on where they are going and more on specific skills, such as transitions, maintaining a gait, and accepting the leg and rein aids. Simple patterns add variety and encourage the horse to remain attentive. 

True was eager to work and displayed a calm, relaxed demeanour from the beginning. Her trot improved again, with prompt transitions and greater acceptance of my aids. When she feels overwhelmed or worried, her default response continues to be stopping — which I will happily take over bolting or bucking! 

My next steps will include lunging her with side reins to help her learn to move forward into light contact and yield to pressure without shaking her head. I planned to continue riding her two or three times a week throughout the summer, then give her time off until she is four.

Conclusion  

Giving True a slow, positive start, with plenty of time to grow and mature, is a major priority for me. Her long-term soundness, confidence, and trust are especially important because I am an adult amateur. Ultimately, I want to build a lasting partnership, and that is not worth rushing. I have made that mistake before, and any gaps left in a horse’s foundation eventually reveal themselves — they always do. 

If you are planning to start your own horse, my best advice is: 

1. Go in with a plan. Each time you work with your horse, have a realistic, achievable goal for the session.  
2. Finish on a positive note. Sometimes you must adjust your plan when things are not going as expected, but you need to recognize when it is time to stop. Even if you must simplify the request, aim to finish after a positive response.  
3. Prioritize relaxation. A relaxed horse is better able to learn, and relaxation ultimately builds trust and connection. Be thoughtful about your timing and body language, consider the environment, and build each new lesson on something the horse already understands.  
4. Consider the horse’s natural instincts and herd behaviour. Aim to provide calm, clear, and consistent leadership. I highly recommend Janet Jones’ book Horse Brain, Human Brain: The Neuroscience of Horsemanship.  

I hope you have enjoyed following this small but significant part of my journey as I begin riding my filly, RSH True. 

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Photos and videos courtesy of Abby Stilwell