The water-bearer smiled. "As we go back, look at the beautiful flowers along the path."

On the return walk, the cracked pot noticed the pretty flowers growing in the sunshine along the path. But at the end of the trip it had still leaked out half its water. Again it apologized and, again, the water-bearer smiled. "Did you not see that the flowers were growing on your side of the path and not the other? I have always known of your flaw. I took advantage of it by planting seeds on your side of the path. Every day as we walk back to the master's house you water the seeds from the crack in your side. Because of that I can decorate our master's table with beautiful flowers."

The moral? We all have our own unique flaws. It's what makes each of us different. Flaws may define us yet, by their sheer nature, they offer the scope to strengthen us. So, holding that thought, how do the unique differences between us interplay in the arena between student and riding instructor?

By now lessons and clinics are in full swing. As a rule, everything goes well and riders progress under the watchful eye of their instructors. But sometimes things can go wrong. When a relationship between a student and an instructor breaks down it can be devastating. A student takes an instruction the wrong way. An instructor delivers a command too forcefully. Tensions rise and relationships become strained. The horse - the third dynamic in the scenario - senses the anxiety and responds in its own way, possibly further complicating a relationship that is threatening to fray at the seams.

At a recent clinic, a rider brought her young warmblood that she had just started under saddle. Almost from the beginning things went wrong. The horse had only been ridden for four months and had barely begun ring work. The rider enrolled in the clinic in the belief that it would be a great way to introduce her horse to some formal training. But the experience was a disaster. It left her confidence so shattered she considered selling her horse.

A well-respected instructor in the Lower Mainland began to dread giving instruction to a student whose expectations exceeded both her riding ability and the fitness level of her horse. Her quick-to-fly temper and the high demands of her parents were leading them all on a collision course with disaster and it seemed that no amount of counseling from the instructor was helping the situation. She finally withdrew her services.

True, the above examples are extremes in student/instructor relationships but almost everyone can recall tense moments in a lesson or clinic that ultimately led to a poor performance and a counter-productive experience. A thoughtless remark, a rebuke, undue criticism of the horse and/or its breed, instruction given too quickly, in too complicated a fashion or with unmasked irritation or short-tempered banter between instructor and student are going to flat-line a lesson. In almost all cases, the common denominator leading to the breakdown of relationship is lack of clear, two-way communication.

No matter what the subject - math in school, history in college, equitation in a barn - the most basic bond between student and teacher is a level of communication built on trust, respect and open dialogue. Each must understand the expectations of the other and the means by which those expectations will be met.

What does an instructor look for in a student? Realistic goals. Commitment. An understanding of the athletic ability and potential of his or her horse. An understanding of the goal of each lesson and a willingness to practice those exercises between lessons.

An astute instructor will identify problems very early in the session and make positive suggestions to help a rider overcome the problems before progressing to the next level. Sometimes those problems take longer to resolve than first expected so the goal planning and the time framing must always be flexible and open for review.

What does a student look for in an instructor? Understanding. Patience. Encouragement. Someone who is willing to listen and provide constructive guidance that will move the rider and the horse forward as a team.

"If a rider is doing something wrong, don't try to fix all the problems at once," suggested Rose-Marie Rozon. "Work on the worst faults first then move forward with positive reinforcement."

Today's qualified instructors are highly trained and skilled individuals who have invested a great deal of time and money intraining that will allow them to excel in their profession. They not only have thorough knowledge in equitation but are knowledgeable in sports psychology, rider profiles and the importance of understanding the riderŐs intellectual and emotional personality.

Which is where the moral of the cracked pot kicks in. We all bring to a lesson our own "baggage", shades and reflections of the bumps and bruises of life. They are the little flaws we've accumulated along the way. Some of us may have a critical low self-esteem. We may have known emotional or physical abuse in our past or we may be recovering from injury, illness or loss. The opportunity to ride may be part of a bigger expansion of our own expression with less a need to compete as a need to heal and grow. Personality plays a huge part in how a rider processes instruction and this, in turn, reflects in the way a relationship develops with the instructor. Both are human and each brings to the lesson the experiences of life and the nuances of personality. The chemistry between them is unique, full of promise for a rewarding relationship so long as each has compassion for the foibles of the other.

"It's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding," commented Mrs. Rozon.

By learning to accept each other as we are and looking for the strengths and the goodness in each of us, the "flaws" can become stepping stones toward more rewarding relationships. This habit will have a way of enriching our lives not only while we're learning to ride but also while we're learning to cope with all areas of our lives.